he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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