i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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