Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
