i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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