Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
