Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
