i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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