Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
