Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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