I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
