I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
