trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
