at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
