Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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