I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
