The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
