Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
