Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
