So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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