I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
