Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
