I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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