I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Randomize
