he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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