I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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