In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
