I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
