he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
