we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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