My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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