Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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