she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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