Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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