he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
