3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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