Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
