bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
