I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
