Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
