There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
