I CAN MOONWALK!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
