My nipple is on Facebook.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
