we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
