If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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