i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
