I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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