i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
