he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
please don't ironically join a cult
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