That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
