i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
