I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
