I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
