His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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